‘They’ say in order to succeed at reaching a goal one must visualize him or herself already successful at that goal. Want to live in a sprawling house with antique furniture and 5 dogs? Close your eyes, and see in your mind that you already live there. Map the layout in your head, envision the fainting couch by the window and breeds of dogs you want to have running through the hallways. Etc. Etc.
I am foggy-headed. Is it possible to want too many things? I can’t see the forest through the trees. I don’t understand how there are people, bloggers, out there who are so clear-headed. They have a vision and they stick to it. Am I that wishy-washy? I feel second-rate when I see pictures belonging to others. These people have better pictures, better bodies, better clothes, better climates, better styling skills, better everything.
Ok, Hushhhhhh. Momentary lapse.
Now that I’m over feeling sorry for myself, here’s what I figured out. Of course I’m feeling second-rate, because I’m feeling like I should emulate others. I think it was Judy Garland who said something like ‘Always be a first-rate version of yourself rather than a second-rate version of someone else.’
And it’s true! So true.
I follow a fairly large number of blogs, but for the most part they can all be grouped into lifestyle, self-improvement, and mommy categories. I find the lifestyle blogs are most envious but I realize that they are run by a team of 3 or more people and they’re meant to be an inspiring ideal rather than all-encompassing reality. Once that fact is faced, I feel loads better about the whole thing.
Instagram in particular can be a nasty self-esteem suck, if you let it be. Better pictures, better lives. Better adventures, better food, better friendships.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
The stupid part is…90% of the time I don’t even want to be doing what the other person is doing. ‘Flash fantasies’ is what I call them. Split second pictures in my mind of being elsewhere, of not being me. But those flash fantasies leave a lingering taste in my mouth of longing. Bad cravings for something sweet but the aftertaste is bitter.
Solving the problem includes two things: Appreciation and Understanding.
Appreciation for the self and the reality that I’m in, and understanding that the situation of another person is different than my own and doesn’t warrant judgement from me.
Aside from the small-scale resolutions I’ve made, like ‘wear more red clothing’ and ‘publish a blog article at least once a week’ my major resolution is to start appreciating where I am, both in the physical sense and the social sense.
“If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” -Elizabeth Engelbreit