Nostalgia

Thursday November 6, 2014

Temperature: 2*C (36*F)

Goal time to spend outdoors: 17 minutes (goal achieved)

This morning I was in my hometown of Treherne because I had an appointment to get my INR levels checked at the hospital (I developed a blood clot after giving birth to Little C so am now on blood thinners). After my appointment I drove down a few streets in town and parked the car in front of the town restaurant (yes, at the moment there is only one. We are THAT small.) that happened to be my place of employment during my high schools years. Oh, the memories!

It was a clear, crisp, sunny day plus I had brought along Little C’s stroller with us (you never know what you need, and babies need a lot of STUFF) and I had some time to kill before lunch, so out came the stroller. I clicked Little C’s bucket into the base, packed the blanket on top of him for warmth, adjusted his hat and away we went.

I walked down a hill, past the church I attended as a child, past the plot of land where my babysitter used to live (the house has been torn down and a mini-McMansion is being built in it’s place), past the land where my grandma used to have a house (we tore it down when she passed away and whoever bought the land brought a ratty trailer onto the space), past the lodge that my grandma lived in for a short time, past the stores and banks on the main streets of town that I used to frequent, past the empty plot of land the hardware my parents used to own (the building has been torn down).

I kept thinking that everything is so weird now. Bits of the town are totally unchanged and other pieces are flat out gone from this world, remaining only in my heart and memory. I took a moment to travel back in time, if only in my head, and saw my friend’s house that is now gone and replaced by another house, and a building that used to be a cafe and is now a physical therapy office.

Things are always changing.

Businesses, families, the weather. Everything just keeps rolling and moving and growing and breaking apart, only to keep moving and grow again. Sometimes it’s a little too much for my heart to take. Once in a while I fleetingly wish things would just stay still, that time would slow down to a crawl. But then I remember that change is the correct way of the world. That facing the things we fear is good for the soul (or essence, or personality, however you want to describe it) and that being sad once in a while is okay, since it makes being happy that much more special.

I wasn’t sad, not really. I felt nostalgic and bittersweet. I hadn’t lived here in over 10 years. The past is past, what’s done is done. If anything, I think I was a little sad for the girl I had once been and was no longer. She was a great girl, I think, and sometimes I miss her and her naivete. I had a lovely childhood. My home was a safe and loving home, my town was a safe and picturesque town.

As I strolled past the credit union I waved to a man who was once a little boy that went to the same babysitter as me. He parked a pick-up truck with his name on the back declaring he owned a construction business. I laughed a little. I remembered him dancing with me in a living room and being embarrassed that he liked to dance. His sister once bit me on my arm so hard she drew blood and their brother, who I went to school with, was the golden boy in our grade, well-liked by almost everyone.

How time flies. How things change. How some of it remains eternal. I love it all.

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